Happy 5th Anniversary...the story of how we met.

It is hard to believe we have already been married 5 years! The Lord has truly given us a love that is immeasurably more (Eph. 5:20). Having a marriage founded on Jesus Christ is very fulfilling. And after five years, we can honestly say that we love each other more than the day we married each other! Our normal words to each other are, "I love you more than I did yesterday." Well, here's to the "yesterdays." Below is the story of how we met...and fell in love...and chose to be man and wife for the rest of our lives. (Warning...this is long).

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The Big Man on Campus

(Aug. 2003) There was a young man on leadership whom every girl believed was the “Perfect Man.” He was a fashion model—he even spent three months modeling in Milan, Italy. He was exceptionally attractive, stylish, funny, charming, a great leader, and above all else, loved the Lord with his whole heart. My first impression of Mr. Perfect was honestly no different than any of those other drooling girls. My exact thought—and I can still remember the words flashing in my mind— “Oh Lord, I could marry a man like that!” A man that not only was a leader in the Lord’s work—but also looked great while doing it!

As I got to be friends with other ladies on the leadership team I began expressing my personal thoughts about this super guy. However, I was assured by those ladies that he was not interested in dating any of us and I would have to settle being his friend. So, I watched—or dreamed—from afar.

Just Friends

(Jan. 2004) I went home from college for a weekend. My family decided to attend a play at the community theater. There I shared college photos with my youth pastor from high school. When he flipped to the picture of “my hunk” I looked at him and with huge eyes joked, “I could marry this guy.”

Spring blossomed just as quickly as my growing admiration for my Prince Charming, who more commonly went by the name—Dustin. One night at our weekly bible study, a youth pastor from a nearby church came to recruit a few college volunteers to lead a Disciple Now at his church. Disciple Now is a weekend youth retreat that college students lead to guide the youth in their walk with the Lord, evangelism, and fellowship. Two were chosen for this weekend, oh yes—Dustin and me.

As time and summer went on, I felt the need to make this church my home. I told the Lord, if He had plans for Dustin and me, he would have to bring us together in the same church. I desperately wanted to do the Lord’s work, in His house, with my future prince—whoever he would be. Soon after my request to the Lord my gentleman friend felt the same calling to make Northbridge his home church—seriously, without any help from me.

Getting to Know One Another

(Spring-Fall 2004) Soon we began a deep friendship as we led the youth in Sunday school lessons and weekend outings, joined the church’s evangelism team that visited homes every Thursday night, attended church every Sunday morning; and we continued leadership with Baptist Collegiate Ministries, which met every Tuesday night with leadership meetings on Monday nights. Our lives were becoming intertwined quickly.

People at church we’re becoming a little restless in our tiptoe dance we called, “Just Friends.” But, best friends we were for almost a year. Little did he know…my heart was budding past friendship. (And little did I know, his heart was budding for me). For over a year I had been growing in my affection for him.

I prayed every day for him; I also prayed that if he was my future husband, God would open his heart to me. Dustin had dated a few girls in his life and told me directly that he never actually asked a girl out—it just slowly formed into ‘more than friends’. If God had plans for us I wanted a definite pursual, regardless of how Dustin asked girls out in the past...that just wasn't my way of starting a relationship.

Throughout my prayer journal, my prayer went like this: “Lord, you know how much I respect—and adore—your prince, Dustin. If he is the one you have chosen for me, please have him ask to pursue me.”

The Question

(Oct. 14, 2004) One night after F.A.I.T.H.—our evangelism team—Dustin asked me if I would accompany him to the Battery, also called White Point Gardens—a park in downtown Charleston where the Cooper and Ashley Rivers meet. In the center of the park there is a large white gazebo surrounded by live oaks and palmettos. Beautiful. The Battery was a favorite place of ours to visit while in college; and this particular night was no different as we sat on the railings of the boardwalk gazing at the water below. In many of our conversations, Dustin would say, “You don’t leave any room for breathing in your rambling.” In other words—I talk too much!

So, that night I decided since he invited me to accompany him to the Battery, I would stop with my chit-chatter and let him lead the conversation. We talked for over two hours and then we allowed the beauty of the night to invade our space.

As we sat there silently, touching shoulders ever so gently, he whispered into the moonlight: “I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I believe I must do this.” Long pause… “I think if we follow the Lord, this could be something that turns into our future. May I please pursue you?”

AH! I know it sounds cliché, but my heart seriously skipped a beat at his words, more specifically his choice of words. Remember I had been praying for Dustin and that God would have him pursue me. Dustin had never in his life used that word and still today does not know why he chose to ask to pursue me instead of date me.

I later found out that he had been fasting for three days prior to that night at the Battery. The youth pastor from our church told Dustin a week earlier that he needed to make a move to date me, saying, “Girls like that don’t stay single for long.” So, in utter turmoil—trying to discern if God wanted him to pursue a future with me—he fasted for God’s wisdom. God said, “Pursue”.

I Love You

After two months of dating, Dustin admitted that he told his mom that he was going to marry me. Thankfully we were talking on the phone because my mouth dropped to the floor in disbelief—even though I knew he was the one.

I will never forget the first time Dustin told me he loved me. We were at my parent’s home on Hilton Head Island. I was upset with him for something he neglected telling me. As we walked in the front door, or as I stormed off through the front door angrily, he pulled me into his arms. As he starred into my eyes he said, “Don’t ever hesitate to tell me anything, even if you’re upset. I want us to be open with each other. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t want to hurt you...I...I love you.” Pause.

At that delicate, once in a lifetime moment, my mom decides she should choose that exact moment to walk through the door! We parted from our embrace without a chance to respond.

Later while Dustin was packing his suitcase (we were heading back to Charleston), I wrapped my arms around his manly frame and whispered in his ear…“I love you too...and I forgive you.”

The Proposal and Forever

(April FOOLS DAY 2006) One year after, “I Love You,” Dustin purposed to me through a scavenger hunt—which ended at the Battery with him kneeling at the very spot he asked to pursue me.

(December 30, 2006) Nine months later we pledged our lives to each other; we vowed to love, honor, and cherish the “perfect” gift God had given us in one another as long as we both shall live. On our wedding night, I handed Dustin two journals I had written to my future husband from the time I was 17. Placing those journals in his hands was a colossal moment for me. I had prayed for and loved him three years before we ever met, five years before we wed—and in that moment I gave him not only the words I wrote in all those years of waiting, but my whole heart! God answered my prayer—my first serious boyfriend is my husband.

Dustin and I are now studying to be marriage counselors because God has built our love on the solid foundation on His Son and our mission is to teach other couples God’s truth about the covenant of marriage. Let the inspiration to wait for God's best encourage you to remain patient. God's ways are always best, whether we understand or not.

I Love you Dustin! May God bless us with 50 more!

Our 5th Anniversary Pictures!

Here's a few pictures from our 5th anniversary photo shoot from a very talented photographer I work with! We have over 180 pictures...but here is a sneak peek! Enjoy!

Merry Christmas...It's all True!

We believe that the baby in the manger, Jesus Christ is the Messiah--fully God, fully man. We believe that the prophecies made thousands of years before his birth are true and that only God could orchestrate them all. We believe that Scripture clearly and factually accounts for the major details of history, the Christ, and God's plan of redemption.

I love this passage from Luke about Jesus:

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:

“Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.”

The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

MERRY CHRISTMAS...yay, Jesus!

A Tribute to My Hard Working Superhero...A Great Leader

Over the last 2 1/2 years, Dustin has been working full time at SunTrust Bank as the Financial Service Representative. It has often been a very high stress job, dealing with cranky customers who are always right, leaving you the target of their frustration! On Friday, December 16th he officially had his last day at SunTrust! Starting in a few short weeks in full time ministry with Converting Hearts as the Director of Social Enterprise and Operations.

Dustin is my hero. Now, obviously he is not perfect, none of us are this side of eternity...But, he is my Hard Working Superhero. He worked 40 hours a week, Monday through Friday; came home at 5:30pm to then run off to class (he is also a full time graduate student), small group, or a counseling case until about 9-10pm. He always prioritizes our Friday date night and if I am feeling a little needy on the weekend from our busy week, he stops what he's doing to spend time with me. Every morning he wakes at 5:30am to spend an hour in the Word, making sure God is his first priority. Every night before bed (at around 10-11pm) he leads me in accountability and prayer. We talk, sometimes five minutes other times 2 hours; about the day's sin struggles, how we failed, how we were victorious, how we can better run after our Lord. We take time to listen to each other. We challenge each other and encourage each other. And then together we talk to our Lord...thanking Him for the day, asking forgiveness, praying for friends and family, and praising Him for His awesome control of our life. Dustin leads us in our finances, he helps with housework, and at times just takes me in his arms to give me a hug or smooch! He leads our family very well; spiritually, emotionally, and practically.

Often during the last two years--while I've had a part-time job (sometimes multiple ones) and been a full time student--I have whined to him that it would be easier to just go to work all week like him instead of be a crazy person like me...doing most of the house keeping, cooking, administration, preparing counseling cases and small group activities (we are the leaders), raising our support for Converting Hearts, and whatever else came up in life! Though, both positions are hard; I had my eyes opened this last week while I've been working 9 hour days and then running off in the evenings until 10pm each night. I have no time to rest, no time to be at home, no time to cook or clean, no time to manage anything! And we aren't even in school. WOW! I am so thankful that my husband allows me to have a part-time job, while he worked full time outside of the home so I can fulfill my role as a wife. I saw just a glimpse of how difficult it must have been for him these last few years to work at SunTrust with all of our other responsibilities.

So, you see...Dustin is my Hard Working Superhero. And I pray with our switch to Converting Hearts, a job he loves, he will get to retire his cape and tights...and work and rest well.

I love you my hero!

What is Biblical Counseing...

Dustin and I are at Southeastern to get our Master's in Biblical Counseling. It is the most incredible counseling "technique." Probably because it is not a technique, but doing life with another person--being the Body of Christ.

It is not psychobabble, it is not only feelings driven, it is not our own wisdom or experience, it is not just putting a "band-aid" on someone's problems and helping them cope with it (which is most secular psychology).

It is walking with someone; listening, challenging, encouraging, and bringing hope through the authority of God's Word, the Bible. It is getting to the root of the problem so that the person changes...from the heart. It is offering a new start to life, after their life has been completely destroyed by sin or the sin of others. It is giving biblical insight and practical application. It is sharing our own life struggles and encouraging that through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit living in us we CAN live a life that glorifies the Lord. It is getting deep into the Word and learning how to live most biblical, instead of most cultural. It is true joy, not surface happiness. It is freedom, not regulations. It is LIFE! Only biblical counseling can offer someone true hope. I once had a counselee that was a social worker, studying psychology. I asked her why she chose to come to receive biblical counseling instead of going to a secular psychologist. She said, "I didn't want just coping methods, I wanted true heart change!" Wow!

Biblical counseling is hard, tedious, burdensome, and tiring at times. But, getting to be a vessel that God uses to speak His hope-giving-words to the hurting person across the room from you...is incredible! God does not have to use us, but He does. It is the most awesome joy to be used to help a person go from broken in life to flourishing in Christ.

This video from MadTV is hilarious...and often a joke among biblical counselors..."Don't you wish it was that easy! Tell your counselee, 'Just stop it!'" Watch this video for what biblical counseling is NOT!

Where did the time go?

Can you believe it is almost Christmas! What!? What happened to July-November? There we were on a beautiful June day, sitting on the beach of Hilton Head Island visiting family, preparing for the next semester of school at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and BAM...the semester's over.

After living in Wake Forest, NC. for 2 1/2 years, you would think this surreal feeling--of following the Lord's leading to go back to school to get our Master's in Biblical Counseling--would have worn off by now. Nope! We are still in amazement at this place the Lord brought us to.

As a recap for those of you just joining in our our crazy adventures...

We had two great jobs in Charleston, SC., a great church, and family close by that we left to come to Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary because of our passion for marriage and family. Marriages and families are falling apart through divorce, children out of wedlock, and sin ripping trust and unity. What happened to the Christian Church being the salt and light...a holy nation that others see and praise God? God has given us such a desire to see covenant marriages last a lifetime and godly families seek what is most biblical instead of what is most comfortable...or happiest. We have studied these last few years only to have this passion fueled more.

When we married five years ago (wow!) we were given a great purpose from the Lord...to live to glorify God and seek to reach the lost (a calling all Christian couples have). We are living this adventure called life for our great Creator. We are individual and marriage counselors at our church, North Wake; we are small group leaders; full time students; employees (currently as of today: Dustin is having his last day at SunTrust Bank! and I am the Assistant to the Director of Women's Ministry at the Women's Life Office at Southeastern); we have friends (really!); and we work hard at our marriage. So life is busy.

How full time ministry started
After visions of using a farm as a means to help the lost, homeless, and broken, Dustin heard of Converting Hearts Ministries' in a counseling addictions class we took together. He about fell out of his chair (seriously) because his surprise to learn what God had laid on his heart was right in our backyard...and he could begin serving now. We learned that addiction (consuming sin) is so prevalent in our culture (the world) through pornography, substance abuse, and other idolatry that it is the foremost destroyer of marriages. Our hearts: marriage, teaching, counseling, and the great outdoors. Dustin's heart: carpentry and gardening. K.J.'s heart: women's ministry and writing. So...

After only six months of raising support for our first year of ministry with Converting Hearts...the Lord has completely provided and is launching us into full time ministry (For more on how this all happened visit: www.thenallyunit.blogspot.com). Dustin will be working full time as the Director of Operations and Social Enterprise; developing the social enterprise component of the ministry through a farm, carpentry, and other self-sustaining projects used to teach the men biblical lessons through hard work illustrations. He will be a counselor to both men and their families, and teach during weekly Bible studies. I will join Dustin as a counselor for marriages/families and also counsel women, as the Director of Ladies' Ministry. We will teach a marriage and family foundations class and I will be a staff writer for CHM. (If you're looking at that picture to your right, don't worry...we will be more professional when we are working! Well, we'll try!).

So much more to say, but I won't. Partly, because you probably already stopped reading and also because I've run out of time again! We look forward to sharing our life with you...the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly!

Have a joy-filled day!