Here's the update: We celebrated the most amazing (angel) baby's two months of life on January 5th! Crazy how time flies. He is honestly so calm, content, and adorable he will make it hard on future brothers and sisters to live up to his standard!! At this point in the adoption we really thought we would be further ahead. It's hard to trust our attorneys who said "they'll take care of everything" when we've seen such slow progress. Or perhaps SLOW is just part of the adoption process!! The birth mom is wonderful. She is so thankful for us and this adoption...she even sent Jaden a Christmas present and sent us a card. The Lord is doing a lot in her life. Unfortunately, the biological father has gone missing again. Long story short: a month ago he was adamant that he would consent to the adoption, which we were thrilled. But, after a month has gone by he has still not sent the paperwork to the attorney...and now cannot be reached on his phone. So we still have that and the nationality issues to work through (need approval from the Indian Tribe). There are so many fears that run through my mind I am constantly, moment by moment, giving the fears and Jaden back over to the Lord. It is so hard to imagine that God loves Jaden more than me...but I know He does. So, please pray that God intervenes with the bio dad and gets him to consent, that the tribe's approval is just a simple document that needs signed, and that my weary heart would trust my Father!
This may just be our first adoption, but the Lord has taught us so much already.
1) Adoption is more a spiritual battle for an eternal soul than simply giving a child a better home life! As I look in Jaden's eyes I can't help but think of all the Lord will do with this little man's future for His kingdom. A future that could have been very bleak! Of course, Jaden and I talk daily about his future...and what profession he will have one day and I tell him, "Sweet boy, whether businessman, pastor, missionary, or mechanic...all your daddy and I want for you is for you to love the Lord above all else. And let Him direct your footsteps so you bring Him the most glory." But, honestly, I think the Lord has amazing plans for this precious boy's life...
2) Adoption is the closest to the Heart of God we will ever get. I know everyone feels "it" when they have a child...the most intense LOVE that you could ever imagine. It's true. The love I have for Jaden is like nothing I've ever experienced. And don't misunderstand me...I LOVE my husband. Dustin is my best friend, my lover, my greatest gift here on earth. But the intimate love for my husband is different than this protective, all-consuming love for my son. Both overwhelm me...just very different. There is no closer love than what our Father feels for us, because we are His adopted children through Jesus!! Not illegitimate children, but 100% HIS...in His family and given His inheritance! Which leads me to my third lesson.
3) Loving an adopted child is NO DIFFERENT than having a biological child!! And this one gets me worked up! I feel like I birthed Jaden. The legal stuff all seems strange and out of place. I do not think the government or even the church understands this point. I think this is hard for many people to understand unless you have an adopted child or have a family member that is adopted...and have experienced how much they are just a part of your family as anyone born into it by blood. Since Dustin and I waited so long for children and Jaden is such a miracle... the transition to parenthood has been incredibly easy...and so filled with love for our SON. Our perfectly chosen son. After a miscarriage and years of desiring to get pregnant...now, I don't care if I ever have a biological child. Because Jaden is certainly of me and Dustin...a product of our love. The only reasons I would want to have a biological child is to see what a mush of Dustin and I would look like and so the watching world doesn't believe we only adopted as a PLAN B because we could not have our "own!" Jaden is Plan A!!! And he is ours. If the government understood this we would have no fears of unjust court cases. If the church understood this...
4) The Church must fulfill God's command to care for widows and orphans. I don't think Compassion International or sending monthly donations to a ministry was in the mind of the Father when Paul wrote, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress" (James 1:27). Not that those ministries are bad...they're incredible. But, why are there over 100,000 children ready for adoption in our foster care system!! Why are there hundreds of thousands of children worldwide needing adopted??! Where is the church? Comfortable! I say it is too easy to just have biological children. (Says the woman who miscarried and hasn't been able to get pregnant again though everything is physical fine). If simple biology were God's mission, than all of us Gentiles would not be part of His family. Family is a beautiful picture of the Gospel...perhaps not all are called to adopt, but more Christian families should look like God's family...many colors and many nationalities!
5) Every moment of every day I will have to give over control of my children's lives. Adoption just makes this very clear. With adoption you don't birth a child and then take her home to parent as you wish. You go to the hospital and birth a child out of the love of your heart, not womb, after having trusted another woman to physically care for your child for 9 months. Then after a period of time you are allowed to go home where you have social workers notate your parenting ideas, trust attorneys to find your case important enough to put to the top of the paper stack, and wait on the courts to approve that this child (your child) is legally your son or daughter! So much is out of our control. A newborn and sleepless nights...that's easy! Adoption is so much an emotional roller coaster. Certainly, at times all I can do is snuggle Jaden, cry, praise the Lord and plead with Him for his life. But, I realize this is good training to be a great parent. A great parent loves her child wildly, trains him in the Word, and has open hands to allow the Lord to take him on His adventure (even if that means missions to the ends of the earth!)
There's probably much more I could say...but my sleeping prince is starting to wake from his peaceful nap. Lord, please allow Dustin and I to wake up one day and have our dreams answered that Jaden, our precious son, is officially and legally our son.
Thank you all for praying with us...praising the Father for our miraculous son and pleading with Him to finalize this adoption. May the Lord do mighty work through our lives, Jaden's life, and future sons and daughters!
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